I got my final exam papers today, here are the results :
English Reading and Grammar : 99/100
English Writing : unknown yet
English Listening : 73/74
English Oral : 19/20
Chinese Reading : 64.5/100
Chinese Writing : unknown yet
Chinese Listening : 74/100
Chinese Oral : 90/100
Liberal Studies : 86/100
Maths : 81/100
Chinese History : 73/100
Science : 72/100
Well these numbers look nice, but not good enough.
The English papers were kindergarten level, 99 wasn't worth anything. In fact, many people were close to me, which shouldn't have happened. I know I've dropped my grade but I am still the best in my form, no one should be close. The paper was insulting. Why should the teachers make the paper easy just to let them pass? Exams are challenges. It should be the hardest paper, otherwise there are no differences between us, which is totally unfair. Specially to me and other good students. Why can't you just let them fail and make them realize they're losers? I detest to be ordinary.
I admit I got advantage from the sympathy that other teachers gave, all the exams weren't as hard as they should be. But still, I insist to make exams difficult, because I know deep inside that the more difficult challenges bring the clearer differences. No matter how bad I am in other subjects, I still get advantage, because I listen, and I study, unlike other losers who give up themselves. Teachers, they don't deserve your sympathy, you're only bringing us down, and we are not interested to be one of them. We have brains, if they don't, just treat them like pets like what you're doing, but treat us like human being, stop insulting us.
The second reason I feel bad is because the marks that should be good didn't come out like it should be. I should have done better in Chinese and Chinese History. And since my boyfriend cares my Chinese History result a lot, I feel even worse. He finished school, and when he was studying, he got really impressive result in History, that's why he wants me to do well, that's the only subject he cares but I let him down. And I think I might have let my Chinese teacher down, she has always been nice to me, and I swear I'm not that bad, but it's too late to say anything now. I hate letting people down.
Surprisingly, Maths and Liberal Studies came out well. I never did that well in Maths, I can always pass but only encircling between 60-75. I'm always active during Liberal Studies lessons, teacher said I got an attitude on politics... well what I see is I'm too subjective, but whatever... She said it because almost no one gives her response. It was astonishing anyways, 86, cool!
The goods came out more than the bads, yet I still feel bad, it kind of make me feel like a failure. Actually what I've been doing lately has already made me a failure.
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