The last 2 lessons of Ms Rose's class, I needed to go, I couldn't miss it, it's so important to me. Ms. Rose is important, what she teaches is important, to learn how she talks is important, to understand her sense of humour is important. What I'm learning isn't material at all, like, it's not Grammar, not vocabulary, not making sentences, but something else. She makes me feel more natural when I write; I act what she says secretly without actually thinking about it. She's amazing, it's a shame that she's retired now. I wish I could be her student when she was still in my school, I wish I got in 3 years earlier before she's retired. It'd bring a great change, I believe.
I went back home after the class, I didn't plan to go out today.
Something funny happened yesterday night -- a boy who I had liked long time ago called me. It was January when I met him. I had liked him a lot; I had been talking to him for 2 weeks, every single day; he had brought me a lot of joy. But then he estranged me, though I thought maybe that was because he realized how I felt about him; yet he said it was because he got a job. I didn't believe him, but I knew it was no use to force a guy. So I quit. I admit I think about him once a while and I did try to call him lately, but I'm still faithful to my boyfriend. And things are different now; I don't feel the same about him anymore.
Anyway, he called, and he asked me if I was free the next day, he wanted to hang out, I said it was okay. I told my boyfriend about it, and he had a strong reaction: he didn't want me to go, as he thought that guy wasn't a good person. He didn't want me to get hurt or being stolen from somebody. He was anxious and a bit angry, but he tried to pretend he wasn't, that was cute, very cute to me. "Now you belong to me, I don't want anyone to steal you away." I'll remember what he said, it was one of the best things I've heard.
And so, I stayed home today. I took a long nap, it was so comfortable and relaxing just to lie on bed and thinking nothing. It had been a while that I didn't have a moment for myself. My life was always full of work, revisions and phone calls. Finally, a silent nap and day.
I cleaned up my desk at night, it wasn't an easy job, my desk was such a war zone, there were all books and papers, dust and ashes. I wanted to do it long time ago, and I ended this horrible mission tonight, for one and a half hour. Now it's neat and tidy, a good place to think and write.
I'm going to read and write for the rest of the night. A silent, quiet night that I've been seeking since long time ago.
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